I’ve been trying to find the words all day. The truth is that there are none because it’s over. It’s the end of a very long and hard journey.
Our beta came back zero, not 5, not 10, not even 1. Fucking zero.
I’m confused, I am angry, my heart is broken into a million peices. How could I have been so wrong? Why didn’t I listen when they said I couldn’t do it? How could this happen again? Does anyone have the answers for me?
This feeling of utter emptiness doesn’t change, the feelings of loss for our future children and the plans we made in our heads are the same too, as are the ones of complete failure. This time is no different from the times before, this time however has such a finality to it that I don’t know which way is up. I’m slowly sinking in a whirlpool of emotions, trying to figure out how I really feel.
Frank is being such a honey, he’s cried with me because this time felt so different, this time felt so right, so real. This morning we were discussing just how much today would change our lives, how today would be the beginning of a new journey but it was not to be.
Maybe it’s time to accept that this is my lot in life, maybe this is just the way it’s meant to be, just the two of us and our dogs. Maybe it’s time to read the writing on the wall and throw in the towel, to put an end to all this madness. I can’t kid myself anymore, it’s very clear now that I cannot do this, no matter how the dr’s try to help me do it, my body just wont, it is incapable of giving me the thing I want the most in this life.
Frank reminded me that we still have 3 frozen embies left, I told him that they weren’t putting them near me. I can’t do this. He told me that we would make a plan, sort something out, I love that man so for believing when I can’t.
Our follow up appointment is on the 19th with Dr V, I already know that he’s going to say. We’ve tried everything now with not a hint of success to speak of. He’s going to bring up surrogacy again. I feel so cheated, so angry that I can’t do this, my body is such a failure to women-kind and I told Frank that I would understand if he didn’t want me anymore, if he wanted someone that could give him children because I am so broken, he told me that it’s not my fault and that we are in this together, it’s very sweet but that doesn’t make me not broken. I wanted to carry my own children, I wanted to feel them grow inside of me and experience that which so many women take for granted, making a life.
I can not explain the feelings of loss right now, not only has our best chance at success failed – with it goes the dreams I’ve always had of carrying a baby, with it comes the end of a journey, a very hard, long and sad one. I know I could carry on regardless because no-one ever knows, there are people that have done double what I have to acheive success but right now that feels like throwing my heart and endless amounts of money into a never-ending well of sadness.
Where to from here, I don’t know. All I know right now is that I am finished, in more ways than one. I can’t do it anymore, I need time for my fragile heart and mind to heal, to process what it is I want out of this life now. I need to grieve the loss of all these things. Thank you to all of you that have “held my hand” thru this journey, I really wish that it could have been different.
I’m so very sorry…..
Tam! There simply I no words. No explanations! No answers1 Its utterfly fucked up!! I wish I could say or do something to make it better for you but there isn’t anything that anyone can do or say right now. Bless Frank for holding you up right now.
Now is the time for grieving, not planning. I know that is such a hard thing to do. But don’t worry aboutyour frozen embies right now. Give you heart a chance to heal and when it has healed a little bit, you will know how you want to proceed.
Thinking of you both!
(((hugs)))
My friend I am so so so so sorry. I’m here for you every step of the way. We’ll get through this.
You are in my thoughts and prayers always.
Sending you and Frank much love.
xxx
Sweetie, I don’t have the proper words. I’m throwing large rocks at the universe in your honor. You remain in my thoughts–love to you
I am so so sorry x-x
Tam I am so sorry! I was really hoping that this would be different. My deepest sympathy to you and Frank.
NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m so sorry, dear Tam! I wanted so badly for this to be it for you and Frank. Sending you a huge hug and some peace in this difficult time.
I was really hoping with you, and I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry, Tam. So sorry.
I am so so sorry Tam. I wish I could make you feel better, but I know I can’t. Just please know that I am thinking about you x
i am so sorry. so gutted for you and Frank.
I’m sorry. It’s really hard when you cannot achieve your dream no matter what you try. My heart is aching for you…
No words, just love and prayers.
x
Oh no! This news is just soul destroying. I was so hoping with you that this would be it. Sending you peace and hugs.
Oh, I am so sorry. I was so hopeful for you. It is not fair.
You know that now is not the time to make final decisions. That said, I’m not sure if the final decision will change, just that it has to still sound like the right choice tomorrow, next week, and for ever after. I wish you luck navigating your way through.
I’m glad you have Frank.
Bea
Oh Tam, I’m so so sorry.
Take care of each other.
No words, except I’m sorry.
I’m so very very sorry. Came from Shaz’s blog to show love xxx
There are simply no good words. I am so so sorry.
Julia
xx
I am so so sorry Tam. You guys have been on my mind this whole weekend.
I am so sorry Tam, I really thought this was going to work out for you. I am so so very sorry for your loss. You are not alone. You are not the last man standing with empty arms and a broken . I will stand with you and we can support each other. I wish you and your husband the best and may you find the support you need to mend.
I am so sorry Tam! Sending you a huge hug and loads of love! Shelly
I am so sorry Tam. There are no words that will make you feel better right now. All I wish you is that somehow through the pain, you find a way forward – whichever way it may be, and whatever path you may need to follow.
There just arent any answers. I wish I could take your pain away. I am so so sorry. xxx
You already know how I feel about this totally fucked up situation Tam. I just so so wanted this to be it for you guys, I really thought it would be. I can only imagine how hard it was for you and Frank to hear those words when you were so sure it would be otherwise. My heart cries buckets for you both. Just know I’m here if you want to talk, cry, scream, vent about it, and will support you all the way. Just take the time you need to heal and re-evaluate when you are ready. Lots of love always xxx
Tam, my heart absolutely breaks for you. I am so very, very sorry.
shit, I am so unbelievably sorry. Please take very good care of yourself, and try not to think about the future too much or what next. Just heal, slowly, hour by hour, day by day.
I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t be this way and I wish I knew how to change it for you. Sending hugs and peace for your heart.
LFCA
I’m so very, very sorry. Shedding tears with you – and also sending you much love and hugs.
xx
Tam, I’m here for you if ever you need to talk or cry or just sit in silence with someone who gets it! Take time to heal and overcome the shock before you decide on what to do next. There are no easy decisions ahead of you but there are choices my friend. Hope will find it’s way back in someday. Until then I’m here if you need a friend! Sending big hugs filled with lots of love and support. xx
Tam I am so sorry, there are no words. I have felt so much of what you have mentioned, its so painful. Take it one day at a time and most of all be good to yourselves now.
Oh Tam I have no words to express how sad I am at the outcome. Take time to mourn and give yourself lots of TLC. BIG HUGS
I am sorry.
I am so sorry Tam.
Take good care of yourself …
I am really sorry.
oh no, it is just so unfair. i hope you find some peace and comfort soon.
So very, very sorry hun! Not fair! HUGE hugs from me,
xxx
So soo sorry Tam!! You and Frank are in our thoughts and prayers! xxx