Okay, so temp did a nose dive this morning, I can feel AF gearing up all of a sudden. Very wierd stuff this.
I’m okay, I must be honest and say that I was praying so hard before I looked at my temp this morning, and my heart dropped down to my stomach and I felt that same old feeling of failure as I looked at my temp. I didn’t cry, I got out of bed and got on with my day. I thought about it all the time tho, while I was doing my make up, choosing something to wear, just a sadness that I don’t need to explain and as I sit here typing this, I really want to cry but I’m NOT going to.
I’m not going to cry because I let myself get excited…
I’m not going to cry because every time this happens I feel like a failure…
I’m not going to cry because I let hope in the door…
I’m not going to cry because I find this so unfair…
I’m not going to cry because this really wasn’t necessary, I really didn’t need this right now, I’ve been feeling so good, so positive and so hopefull for my FET…
Instead I am going to choose be put this behind me, to look forward to a brighter, better future. I am choosing to not let this get me down, I am choosing to have faith and hope and to believe in something much bigger than all of this.
AF should be here either today or tomorrow which means my CD2 scan is coming up shortly, i’m trying not to think that there is something strange going on in there, I’m trying to be positive and tell myself that everything is going to be perfect and that i’ll be able to start my FET cycle soon.
So girls, all is not lost…yes, so i got a little dirty falling down again, put i’m picking myself up and dusting myself off, looking forward to this next cycle and hoping and praying that we will be celebrating a bit more before christmas this year!
Thank you all for you wonderful support and comments, you all rock!