I don’t think that I have ever been as eager as I was for a year to come to an end, 2007 was a very hard year for many of us. Of-course some of you ended on a very good note, congrats on all the BFP’s out there ~ I am truly praying for a healthy 9 months for all my dear friends.
Christmas and new year were good, hectic as usual what with running up and down to family and friends, I find christmas time incredibly tiring but I know that one day I wont mind, like many of you, christmas reminds me of what I am still missing in my life.
The shingles are finally clearing up and I can honestly say that that really was no fun at all, I am starting to feel better and have more energy now. I have joined the gym and start tomorrow, it’s time to start looking after my body instead of punishing it.
New years day brought back some memories of our first failed IUI, it was on new years day last year that I had found out the our first IUI had failed. I was devastated, but I was hopeful for my first medicated cycle that was to follow, I was different back then….a lot less jaded and cynical than I am now, I was so hopeful and convinced that by Dec I would either be a mom or have a nice round tummy with my baby growing inside me.
2007 had lots of all time highs and even more devastating lows, it’s changed a part of us that will forever stay changed, some of what we used to be is gone for good but it’s not all bad, we have eachother, I find myself comparing my marriage to other couples, couples who have their children and are watching them grow, couples who’s marriages are falling apart even tho they should be thankful for what they have and it’s hard not to compare.
I find myself thankful for my husband who loves me dearly and altho I still feel very very cheated by my infertility, I am thankful that most of the ways that our marriage has changed through infertility has been good, the one thing that infertility has done for us is make us stronger, make us more understanding with eachother and make us realise that there is no one else on this earth that we would rather be going through this with and so I do have to look at the good that came out of 2007 too.
I don’t have any new years resolutions, my goal is get through infertility with some of who I used to be intact, we will get through this….2008 is going to be the year, we are starting fresh – with new hope and with the realisation that we needed to get through 2007 and all it’s trials and tribulations to get to where we are now, to know more, understand the process and see that our end goal is in sight.
I am currently on CD 4 (yes, new years day brought the same as last year – a visit from my least favourite aunty) today, we will start IVF at the end of this cycle, I need to have my auto immune tests re-done as my immune system would have been comprimised with the shingles, so I’ll have those re-done when I go for my CD2 scan. We are looking forward to moving on now and hoping for a really good outcome with IVF #3!!!