Ever heard the expression “waiting for the other shoe to drop”?

That’s what life has felt like for Frank and I over the past few weeks, things have gone so well and this may sound really “half-glass empty” but we’ve kinda been waiting for the other shoe to drop, well this morning, it came hurtling down!

Now please, please, please don’t get me wrong. I am gratefull that we’ve made it this far, I know that many of you don’t ever get this far let alone with your own eggs but bear with me here, some of what I am feeling is hormone related….

Yesterday’s fert report said 13 embies, 7 looking good…today, however was a different story. Dr V started off saying that he had a conversation at a conference once, it was about perfect day 3 embryo’s being transferred but no pregnancy being achieved – the outcome was – grow the same embryo’s to day 5 and see what happens. Now we know why no pregnancy was achieved with any of my other transfers….I have bad eggs.

Our embryo’s are beautifull up until day 3 but today, today was a completely different story. 7 of the embies became blasts – which is good? No, they became awful quality blasts, the rest stayed alive and grew a few cells more but the fragmentation was very clear, not good embies at all. In fact the 9 cell that would have been a day 3 choice was terrible today…

There was one “excellent” (according to dr V & the embryologist) blast another two that could “make a baby” (their words, not mine) but weren’t top class. That’s it folks – 3 out of the 13 that were alive were transfer quality. I didn’t mind not freezing any because we what we want to achieve is a pregnancy with a take home baby, not have embies in the freezer but we had to make a choice. Dr V was not happy transferring all 3, he said that considering my age and the fact that they were blasts, a triplet pregnancy could be on the cards, that means a high risk pregnancy.

Of-course my initial reaction was that I wanted all three transferred, Frank and Dr V disagreed – they won. We transferred the best two and the other was not freezing quality. I’m still wondering if we made the right decision, what happens if that one was “the one”? I know you girls get this, i’m feeling so uncertain.

Transfer went well, loads and loads of tears. Dr V says that should a pregnancy be achieved then the OHSS will flare up again but I can deal with that, I just want this to work. Acu afterwards helped me relax and now up off to the couch with little Abi.

Test is on 13.08.08…..