I’m not so good at this part, the waiting always gets to me. I have found myself googling GIFT this morning, I didn’t do it before on purpose. I know most of the “in’s and out’s” of GIFT anyway, but I think I’ll make my next post about what exactly doing GIFT entails, success rates, pro’s and cons etc

It’s an interesting healing process with GIFT, I have found that it isn’t nearly as easy as a lap for many reasons. Altho I didn’t overstim this time  thanks to the Lucrin trigger, my ovaries and insides do feel tender. You have a lot of swelling in your abdomen from first having retrieval and a lap straight after. The pain is a lot more controlled with a lap, you can use voltaren and other anti-inflammitories which really really help, with GIFT and IVF you are not allowed any sort of anti-inflammotories what-so-ever which makes this process so much harder and more painful. I’ve battled sleeping at night, first of all my bum is sore from the not so lovely Gestone shots so that hurts when I turn over, my stitches have been pulling and I’ve had some pain from the gas they put into you from the lap. My friend Sam told me to use heat, heat works wonders for the gas pain and for the other aches and pains too. I’ve not been putting it on my stomach for obvious reasons but it does help for everything else.

I feel like the worst part is over now, my stitches came out today and that also helps since you don’t have a constant pulling. I am a bit concerned about my belly button since that cut hasn’t seemed to have healed and closed properly. It’s bleeding and quite sore so VL has said to keep and eye on it for now and just keep it covered.

I’ve been doing as little as possible lately, the couch and lots of pillows are my friend 😉 Sam came to visit me yesterday, she bought some nice treats to eat and a lovely gift which I will share soon. She is as hopeful as ever for me, I know that she is going thru a hard time right now but as usual she is such a ray on sunshine. Thank you Sam 😉

I was telling her yesterday that so far this doesn’t feel like a normal 2ww, this feels different because you are really just trying to recover from the lap which takes away a lot of the focus of what is/should be happening in my body. Don’t get me wrong, I have been thinking of my little ones, I have wondering if they are doing what they need to be doing in there but this is definately a different ball game to IVF.  Today is the first day that I have been scared, that I felt the uncertainty creeping in. Today the remainder of our embryo’s were frozen and somehow that made it so much more real.

As you know, we had 5 ferts out of the remianing 9. Yesterday all 5 were still doing well and today they froze 3. I can’t help but wonder what happened to the remaining two, why only 3 out of 5 are good enough to freeze? What happened with our 100% fert rate? My mind goes back to our last IVF where we had 14 embryo’s on day 5, yes only 3 were transfer quality but still. I have to keep on reminding myself that I don’t want to compare to last time because last time failed and this is so different. I remember Sam telling me that GIFT was harder because you had no idea what was happening in your body, whether you had any fertalisation at all and she was so right. I keep on wondering about my little 5, what are they doing in there, are they doing better than the rest in the lab? I sure hope so.

Frank and I are hopeful, I keep on joking about having triplets and he wants to run a mile, but the truth is that I will be happy with a healthy baby at the end of this. This HAS to work now, for so many reasons and while playing the waiting game I just need to keep on reminding myself of that!

Tick tock, tick tock….