It’s been a while, I am 11w1d today. Time is flying by so quickly now, I can’t believe in a weeks time I will be in my 2nd trimester, I still feel like I’m living in a dream world.

We had our last scan at 9w2d and it was so amazing to see, our little miracle has arms and legs and moved around (apparently called twitching) when the probe went close to it. We were in absolute awe. The heartrate went up to 169bpm from 150bpm which is apparently a good sign since it indicates neurological development.

We are waiting for the next scan and counting the days until I reach that amazing 12 week mark. My morning sickness (which was anytime during the day but mostly at night) dissappeared overnight at around 9 weeks, it was followed by the most awful headaches which no amount of sleep or panado would budge, they too dissappeared as suddenly as they came about a week later. So here I sit, hardly any symptoms except for very sore huge boobies and a growing belly which I have to admit makes me smile.

The closer I get to 12 weeks the more I worry about this little Peanut, as much as I try the what if’s are there, I expect to wake up oneday and it was all a dream and it’s just gone. Frank asked me the other day if I was really happy because I am really “quiet” about this pregnancy, I told him that I feel incredibly blessed and I am so so happy but the scars of infertility run so deep. As happy as I am, it always feels like the other shoe is about to drop. I have to keep reminding myself that this is really happening and that I was wrong with making peace with never being pregnant. It’s all going to take some time….

I will be almost 13 weeks by the time we have out NT scan and we are hoping to find out the sex then and find out if this “feeling” I have is right. I can’t wait to see how much it’s grown, by then it will look like a real little human.

The one thing keeping me sane is the fact that we managed to pick up the babies heartbeat on the fetal doppler last night, it’s very soft since baby is only between 4-6cm right now, but that unmistakable sound of galloping horses is so awesome to hear!!

For your viewing pleasure, Peanut @ 9w2d. Will post pics of this growing belly soon 😉